I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
