Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
