Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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