I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
