The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
