I cannot find my penis.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
