i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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