Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
