I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
