Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
