You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
