Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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