My nipple is on Facebook.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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