ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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