I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
We talked him into tasing himself.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
