i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
FUCK WHALES
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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