When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
