tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
