Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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