do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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