I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I think my fart just growled at me.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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