I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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