SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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