I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
