Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I am naked and annoyed.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
