I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
she looked like the before picture.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
