ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
