with your own penis?
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
