I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I need a beard to bite.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
