You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I wish i was in the wii world.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
