I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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