They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
