well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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