hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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