I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
