Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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