Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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