Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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