if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
