the only muscles i have these days is kegels
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
