gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
