at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
porn star boner night. come get it.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
