He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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