maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
