just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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