i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
