feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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