never play flip cup with pint glasses
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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