It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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