i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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