ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
