don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
