Please, let me fuck your mom
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
