dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
