Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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