Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
