is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
